Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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