Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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