Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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