I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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