he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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