well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
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sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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