he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
