You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
