Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
