Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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