I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize