Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just saw a hot homeless man
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
