I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
