Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
