She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
