Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You're like the curious george of whores
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
