Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
