Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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