God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
