You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
