I'm so fucking centered right now
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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