A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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