Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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