he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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