Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
