if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
