Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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