Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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