Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
