I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
