True but thats because hes a fetus.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
