Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
