I smell stomach acid.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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