I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
