Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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