I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
