idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
