I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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