honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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