Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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