That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
