i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
