just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Small penises have feelings too.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You made out with two different species that night
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
