Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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