the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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