I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize