How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
