so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
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New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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