Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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