At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
