it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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