plz talk dirty to me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
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Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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