Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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