Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
