i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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