I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
