The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
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Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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