I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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