why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
