i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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