and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
