I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
