he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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