dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
