i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm bleeding and have questions
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
